It's Not Stupid, It's Advanced
by Wise Assassin
Summary: Zim realizes something while having a brotherly moment with Gir. Oneshot. Rated T for mentions of suicide. But no death.


**Ahem, This is my first IZ story. So, yeah, READ OR FACE YOUR DOOOOOOOOOM! Moving on.....**

_Italics-flashbacks._

* * *

How he got there, he didn't remember. All Zim knew was that he was sitting on the couch with a sobbing GIR in his arms. How GIR was able to get tears, he didn't know. As Zim sat there, rubbing the metal back of the robot, he began to realize something.

GIR was dysfunctional. He knew that quite well. But why? Two reasons. One:

He wasn't properly made. Just lamely put together with scraps of metal and pieces of pocket lint. GIR knew this as well, and didn't really like it.

_Zim stood, staring blankly at the Transmitter. The Tallest had just informed him that his mission was a fake and that GIR was really just a quick, improperly put together piece of scrap metal. It didn't really surprise him that the mission was fake, he had suspected that all along. He'll get them back. But it was the fact that GIR was not even properly made that "irked" him. The Tallest didn't even think when putting GIR together. They were surprised it even worked. This was no special model._

_"You mean-GIR wasn't even supposed to work?"_

_"We didn't think it would, Zim." _

_"You mean you gave me a-a piece of SCRAP METAL!? You didn't give me any advanced or special model!?" The "invader" banged his gloved hands against the keys on the monitor._

_"Yes, Zim. Now, we would love to stay and chat-"_

_"NOOOOOO YOUUUUUUU WOULDNNNNN'TTTT-ah!"_

_"Butwegottago! See you later, erm, never!" And with that, the screen went blank._

_GIR had heard it all, and it hit a spot in him that made him want to cry. Especially when Master got mad that GIR wasn't a special model._

_"Master?"_

_No response._

_"Master? Are you angry?"_

_Still, not much of a response, but he got a grunt from the still standing alien._

_"Don't worry, Master. You won't have to have me. I will get you the special model you wanted. Don't be mad. Please, I will miss you if you do." Zim turned around, only to see the robot grudgingly trudging up to the elevator._

Zim had been almost heartbroken, if he had one, the next day.

_On the table, there was a note. Not a quick note on a small piece of paper that plainly said "Master, I'm going to go with pig to the dance so he won't be dateless, Love Gir." No, this was a full out letter, signed by none other than GIR in the best handwriting his little claws could get, especially when he wrote it crying. Teardrops stained in random places._

_"For my Mastur;_

_im sorry that you couldn't get the speshul robot U wanted. i weil make shur that i talk to the tall peple so u can git it. i am sorry that i made ur misshun a bad 1. dont wury, u r my faverit mastur. and u weil always b my faverit. i speked 2 the tall peple and they say u cant leafe. but they weil mak u the robot if u stay on Eurthhe. i weil cut teh sircits that mak mi work, so i wont be abl 2 wurk. u dont have 2 fixed me, i want u happy, mastur. _

_LUV GIR. :0) _

_Zim looked out a window he didn't even know he had, and saw GIR with a pair of scissors, ready to cut a red wire on a back porch Zim also didn't know he had. Before GIR could do anything, Zim lept outside through a back door he didn't ever notice, no matter how big and vibrant it was._

_"Gir! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" GIR looked up and saw his Master flying towards him, his arms wide open to grab GIR. Before GIR could even screech, they tumbled in a heap of gray and magenta._

_"DOOOOOOOOn't cut the wiRRRRREEE!!!!!!! I need a robot! I don't want a new one!" Zim pulled GIR into an embrace, and GIR immediately hugged Zim leaped up and dragged GIR inside._

Second reason:

Gir had emotions. No other SIR robot could feel emotional. He could say "I love you" and mean it. Zim thought back to those times when Gir would randomly grab one of his legs and hug it and screech "I love my Master!" in the loudest, most annoyingly high pitched voice the little robot could muster up. Zim now realized Gir did always mean it, every single time.

_"Gir! I'm-What happened?" Zimlooked down at the robot, now in his dog disguise. Zim had come home from skool only to find that Gir had done something, again. Globs of who-knows-what stuck to nthe ceiling, and maple syrup kissed the floor ever so toughly._

_"I made you waffles, Master!" Gir locked Zim's legs in a hug, making him fall over, and sent Gir flying into the door. "I love you!" The little green dog planted a big, wet, slobbery kissed on Zim's left eye and went on his way._

_"Grrr......AGH what's the point."_

There were countless other times when Gir would kiss Zim's feet, or hug him tightly around the waist, only being able to be pried off with an industrial butter knife. Or the countless times he would make something, forget what it was, and then dump it somewhere it wasn't supposed to be. Sometimes even hugging Zim, causing an industrial crowbar to make a cameo.

_"Master!!! I Love you!"_

_"Master, I love you more than pig and tacos and taquitos and soap oprahs and Britney Spears and MJ and N-Sync and the Opera Winfrey show and..."_

And when Gir got scared, even if it was for something incredulously stupid and ludicrous. And Gir jumped into Zim's arms, only to be put back on the floor.

_"I know, I'm scared too."_

_"AHHHG! THE SCARY CIRCLE GIRL IS GONNA JUMP OUTTA THE TV AND STEAL MY SOUL!" (Japanesse films were always fun, huh?)_

_"We can't take pictures anymore, Master! A ghost will appear!"_

_"_TH E_ PHONE WILL RING WITH A SCARY DOLL SONG AND WHEN YOU PICK UP, YOU SMELL YOUR BAD BREATH! Don't answer!"_

_"The clown is headless! IT. is. HEADLESS!"_

_"Master! The girl from Quiet Mountain is coming! she's coming..."_

Then there were the millions of time Gir would say something about no longer existing, or running away.

_"If I can't have a real pig, I dowanna be alive no more."_

_"I'M RUNNING AWAY!"_

_"Pig is lowering my self-esteem! I'm gon'a run away and stab myself!" (Though that time he forgot about it a second later and watched the Angry/Scary Monkey Show)_

_"If you love Mini-Moose and the Bee more than Me, I'm gonna live in the Sea! Whee! I'm a mermaid!" (Oh, Don't you just love Disney?)_

Of course, Gir forgot what he had said once he got through the door, but the fact that he had even thought about it, even if for a split second, cut Zim deeply.

Zim understood now. Gir had emotions. He was not only dysfunctional, but also advanced. _Verrrryyy _advanced. Zim had gotten exactly what he had wanted, an advanced robot. No other robot could do what Gir does.

"Gir."

All Zim got in response was sobs and a some words, though _monkey, cancel, and bazooka _were the only audible words he could make out.

"Gir."

This time, Gir lifted his head from Zims now-wet lap. He sniffed (even though he is absent of a nose) and looked at Zim, eye to eye.

"I know this is going sound wierd, especially coming from ZIIIIIIIM!, but, I luh-luhv-ILOVEYOU!" He blurted. Not even bothering to cover his mouth, knowing he actully meant it.

"And that is probably the only time I'm going to say it. And I love you like a brother, or son. Don't get any ideas, Gir."

But, of course, Gir had paid no attention to what he said and was already wrapped around Zim's waist. Zim couldn't do much, but smile and roll his eyes.

"Should I go get the crowbar, Master?"

"You might as well just stay here, Gir."

"WHEE!"

* * *

**The End! **

**BTW-I don't own Zim. At all. But I own Invader Zim Perfume from Hot Topic! Oh, and Brownie points for the whoever can name all of the Movies I mentioned in this!**


End file.
